Memory Lane

Growing up time always seemed to take so long.  It was FOREVER to get to Christmas.  Summer days dragged on, and we were in school for a lifetime.  At least that's what it seemed like.  I used to hear my mom talk about how time was flying and I always wondered what she was talking about.  Now I know:  Time speeds up.  The older you are, the faster it goes.  And it gets worse after you have a baby.  You blink and the little baloney loaf that you brought home from the hospital is standing up on her own, dancing to "She'll be coming 'round the mountain".  She's gone from just crying to philosophizing to the pig that hangs on the car seat handle.  (so she's not quite to the actual words yet, but that definitely doesn't keep her from being very emphatic about what she's saying.)  She has gone from unable to move to unable to sit still.  10 months doesn't seem like that long, but it's amazing how much changing can happen.

As I was thinking about all the changes that have happened, and thinking about how it doesn't seem like it's been that long, I started to wander down memory lane... It seems like just yesterday we were coming home from the hospital.  That first night home was hard.  Marshall had class the next day, so I was trying to let him sleep as much as possible.  (My mom was coming the next day, so I knew that I would have a chance to sleep.)  But for some reason, Alaina did not want to sleep at all.  She kept crying and wanting to nurse every 15-20 minutes.  I was exhausted, coming off of some major hormones, and just frustrated.  After three hours of non-stop feeding and crying I finally went to Marshall (I was sobbing myself at this point) and said "please try and get her to go to sleep".  My poor husband.  It was like 4 in the morning, he had a screaming daughter and a sobbing wife, and he was amazing.  Without missing a beat, he took Alaina and bounced her in one arm, all the while hugging me with the other.  He gave me the moment I needed to cry, then convinced me to try feeding her one last time, which I did.  He then said "go to sleep"  and took Alaina out of the room.  I woke up about 3 hours later and he still wasn't in the room.  I walked out to the main room, and there he was, sitting in the rocking chair, with Alaina asleep on his chest.
  I don't know if he slept at all that whole time.  I was so overcome with love for my husband at that moment.  I don't even know how to describe it.  I'm so lucky to have him.  When I was pregnant I had some people tell me that after having children your relationship with your husband changes- in a bad way.  Everyone told me that we would have a hard time transitioning from husband and wife to mother and father.  They all said that he would put the baby before me and that I would have to be careful not to get jealous, and so much more.  They were partially right- our relationship HAS changed.  But they are wrong about HOW it's changed.  Having a child has made me love him so much more.  Experiences like the one above and others, where he sacrificed so that I wouldn't lose my sanity have made me appreciate him even more than I did.   Husband and wife doesn't end just because you also become mother and father.  And I am so glad.

Looking back, this last 10 months has been a wild ride.  Ups and downs, wonderful moments and not-so-good times.  And even with all the stress and crazy moments, with all the poop blowouts and the ear shattering screams, the lack of sleep and having to sweep ten times a day, and everything else in between,  I would do it again in a heart beat.  Because it's worth it.  It's worth it for the wet kisses, the babbling conversations, and the beautiful smiles.  It's worth it to see her shimmying to music and hear her screeches of delight when she does.  It's worth it to see her curiosity and the excitement with which she explores her world.  It's worth it to hear her laugh.  It's worth it for the chance to get to know this amazing little spirit that she has.


It really wasn't that long ago that I met Alaina in the hospital room.  But so much has changed since then that it seems like forever ago.  And at the same time, it seems like it was yesterday.  Don't ask me to describe it- I know it doesn't make sense.  I know that from that moment, my life has never been the same.

And I couldn't be happier.