Life is precious.

Forewarning: This is going to be a serious post.

Alaina usually sleeps really well.  Occasionally, however, she will cry for a moment or two and then go back to sleep.  So usually if we hear cries in the middle of the night we wait a couple of minutes to see if she'll go back to sleep.  The other night, I was suddenly awakened by her crying.  And instead of waiting like I normally do, I immediately felt like I should go check on her.  I don't know exactly what it was, whether it may have been a subtle difference in her cry or what.  But something told me that this was not a normal cry and that I needed to check on her.  So I immediately got up and went into her room.  Now, I was not wearing my contacts and all the light I had was her little night light, but I could see that she was kinda crouched next to the crib wall.  Once I got a little closer, I could see that the Boppy pillow that she sleeps with was up kinda on her shoulder.  I didn't quite know what to think, but she's had the habit of throwing her stuffed animals out of the bed when she gets irritated recently.  She's never thrown the Boppy, but that's what passed through my mind.  (Now, I've never been quite sure why, but this particular Boppy pillow has a strap attached to it, which I think is to create a kind of harness for a baby if you're using it as a seating helper.  It has a pocket to tuck it into when you're not using it.)  Well, when I picked her up, the Boppy came with her.  Looking a little more closely, the reason my baby was yelling so frantically was because the strap that usually stays in the little pocket had been jogged loose and somehow, in her sleep, Alaina had wound it around her.  Twice.  It was wound around her neck and under one arm.  Twice.  So tightly that it had pulled the arm it went under up to her ear on that side.  Even with the adrenaline that took over, it still took me a couple of seconds to get it off.  Like a Boa Constrictor trying to squeeze the life out of her.  All I could do afterwards was hold Alaina and cry.  Both of us needed it.

That fiendish Boppy cover is going in the trash.

Now, Alaina is fine.  I know that.  I keep having to check on her while she's asleep to make sure, but she is fine.  But this experience has taught me several things.  First, I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for making that strap go under her arm.  I cannot express how grateful I am for that.  I've been crying on and off since it happened, not because I'm sad, but because I am so grateful.  This could easily have ended in tragedy for us.  I am grateful that I, like Abraham, was saved by a loving Heavenly Father from that experience.   I think for a moment, in that room, I felt a small part of what Heavenly Father felt when Jesus was in the Garden.  He knew that He needed to let Jesus die for us.  I don't think I will ever fully comprehend how hard and painful that experience was for our Father in Heaven.  But I think I appreciate it much more now.  Second, I caught a glimpse into what it might be like to loose a child.  And I didn't like it.  Life is much more precious than I've ever thought.  I have always taken it for granted that people are just going to be OK. I always pray for protection, but I don't think I've ever really understood what that could mean.  It's just what I know I should ask for.  My prayers are going to be much more sincere from now on.   Lastly, I learned the importance of listening to the spirit.  A couple of weeks ago I had the thought that I didn't like the color of the Boppy cover, and I wanted to get a new one.  But I didn't because it was expensive and I'm cheap.  I thought that's all it was- just me being silly because the cover didn't match the crib bedding.  Maybe it was, and I'm over analyzing.  I don't know.  But I do know, that even though I didn't follow that first whisper, I was given a second chance.  I'm certain that the reason I responded to quickly to Alaina's cries that night was because the Holy Ghost was telling me that I needed to.  And I didn't hesitate to listen then.  I'm glad I got that second chance.  And I'm glad I listened.

I'm even more glad that Alaina is OK.  We already have another Boppy cover.  Somehow, it didn't seem all that expensive this time.